Noc Noc. Who’s there? Wait Didn’t You Spell “Noc” Wrong?

Two Jews walk into a bar and what do they do?

They wonder whether they walked into a bar or into Tim Burton's wet dream… and maybe they like it either way.

What’s that? Move away from the inner sunset and to a more popular part of SF?  OK, will do.  We are going to move on over to Lower Haight and talk about a fun bar with an interesting paint job.  The Noc Noc Room is a funky little bar right on Haight Street, next door to Toronado (we promise, that review is coming soon).  Stepping into this bar is like stepping into Tim Burton's wet dream.  There are nooks and crannies throughout the bar, making various booths and areas to stand, as well as high tables and stools.  The walls are made of an old style stucco, and the entire place is painted in all sorts of weird yet cool crazy colors.  Yet at the same time, an underlying black paint job keeps the bar with a dark atmosphere.  One (if you will), could even call it cave-like.  Now if you are a fan of Tim Burton, and have seen some of his movies, you will know that he likes to play around with colors and backgrounds.  Sitting in this bar, especially after having a few drinks, you start feeling like this could easily be a place that was inspired by Tim The Ripper himself.  And to only add to this feeling, that night they were projecting a movie in the background, and what were they playing? Beetlejuice, which was one of his weirdest movies.

 It's a very surreal feeling when you enter Noc Noc.  After getting acclimated with the atmosphere of the place and spending a couple hours there, you begin to forget the world outside.  You can sit at the high backed chairs at the bar (which really reminded us of the living shrimp cocktail scene in Beetlejuice) or find a little seat in one of the aforementioned nooks.  Noc Noc is canine friendly, so try not to trip over any dogs or the extremely low to the ground booths and tables. Walking towards the bathroom you'll notice a strange sculpture hung up on the wall in between the guys’ and ladies’ rooms.  It's made of gears and twisted metal and is something that could be found in Edward Scissorhands' old mansion.  The men's bathroom is fun... It's a one person, 3 by 6 foot closet, with no lock.  So when you're peeing in the stall with your back to the door you will repeatedly have the door opened on you accompanied by a "Ughhh," or maybe a "sorry!" from the intruder.  When you do leave the bar it's almost as if a dark creepy shroud covering your face is lifted when you re-enter reality.

The drink selection at the Noc Noc is large yet limited at the same time.  In case I have just confused you, what I mean by this is that they are one of those beer-and-wine-only establishments.  They have a small selection of wines, an even smaller selection of sake, and a rather good sized array of beers.  On tap are about 18 beers, ranging from a few foreign pilsners to varying American craft beers, including many Californian beers, like Anderson Valley, Firestone, Lagunitas, and Bear Republic, among others.  Additionally, they offer a couple of large coolers containing a bunch of different world and craft beers, including a large selection of Belgian beers (large for a small place like this).  The draft beers range from $4 to $5 and the bottles from $3.50 to $15 (for the high end big bottles), with the wine weighing in between $4 and $6.  Personally, I feel these are pretty good prices for drinks, especially in SF.  How often do you go out to the Marina and get a $6 Bud?  What, never?  If you’re reading this blog, then that’s probably the case.  OK that was a little jab, but I am just kidding, to all of those Marina fans.  The point is, bars in this city are not cheap, and this one makes it easy.  They also have a happy hour between 4 and 7 with $3 pints.  And if that’s not sweet enough, Friday through Sunday they have the same happy hour offer, but it starts at 3pm.  I don't know what’s better, the extra hour or the fact that they have a weekend happy hour.

They don't have any special events or themed nights that I could find, aside from the happy hour, but then again, the bar itself has its own interesting theme that special event or not, you gotta see for yourself.  As usual, below is the address and website.  Keep in mind that parking in the Lower Haight is very difficult.  Furthermore, it’s more fun when your whole group can drink, so take Muni.  There are a bunch of bus lines that stop within a block of the Noc Noc, including the 6, 7, 22, and 71.  We just walk out of out apartment and get on the 6.  About 10 to 15 minutes later we are there.  Brilliant!!  OK, well until the next review, enjoy.

557 Haight Street (between Fillmore and Steiner Streets)

San Francisco, California 94117-3406 Map

Telephone +1 (415) 861-5811

http://www.nocnocs.com/index.html

The Ucky, Oh I mean Mucky Duck

 Two Jews walk into a bar and what do they do?
They drink a beer and by the time they are done they have had enough of this bar for quite a while.

So if you have read our first few reviews and are starting to think to yourself, they are just going to talk about the bars they like, well you're wrong.  I mean we defintiely wanted to start off with a few places for you to go, but we don't just like every bar we go into.  Now at the same time, I think it's important to find something enjoyable even in the bars that we don't recommend.  This will become clear shortly.

We can start with the Mucky Duck before you even go inside.  Any time we walk down from our apartment to 9th and Irving, we have to walk right by this place.  Every time we pass by, there are people smoking outside, being too loud and obnoxious.  This doesn't change too much when you walk inside.  The crowd is not too diverse.  I can't really put the right words to describe them, but I can say for the most part, they are not people that we nor our readers will relate to.

The bartenders at the Mucky Duck, for the most part, are nothing special.  The drinks are average, and the beer is a bit overpriced.  Additionally, the place is cash only, which you will start seeing is a pet peeve of mine (although hard to avoid in some areas).  If the place gets too crowded, it is hard to get served, and a couple of them even have a pretty crappy attitude.  The first time we went in here was the first night we moved into the area.  There were five people there, it took 15 minutes to get a drink, and the bartender seemed pissed to even be getting us a drink.  I guess she forgot that it's her job.  There are, however, two shining stars there.  There is one girl there who bartends on weekend afternoons, and she is great.  She is quick to get you a drink and serves with a smile.  The other one is an older guy.  Not sure if he is the owner or not (I don't think he is), but he is always friendly, makes good stiff drinks, and brings a lot of great ideas to special events.  But the last time I saw him there was during the World Cup over the summer.  Since then, I haven't seen him bartending. 

Now my biggest issue with this bar is that it's trying to be more than it is.  It is a decent dive bar that is okay for watching a game here or there, but they try too hard to make you feel like it's more than what it is.  Every once and a while they have something fun, like the BBQ during the World Cup.  They opened early and had drink specials all day.  But a bar should not be judged simply on how they show the World Cup.

One nice thing about this bar is that next door is a decent diner, and they will bring food to you at the bar.  You go into the Mucky Duck, order a beer (or in the morning, a bloody mary) and while they get the drink for you, you go next door and place your order.  20 minutes later, the waitress from next door brings your food.  I will admit, although I am not a big fan of the bar, that is pretty awesome.

Overall, we don't really recommend it.  If you don't want to take our word for it, the info is below. You can check the place out for yourself and maybe you'll prove us wrong.




1315 9th Avenue
San Francisco, CA 94122-2308
(415) 661-4340

Fireside

Two Jews walk into a bar and what do they do?

Well they walk through the coolest bar door in San Francisco

The Fireside Bar is right on 9^th avenue in the Inner Sunset, and is unlike any of the other bars in the area.  When you first get there, you walk through a very old style wooden door, that on hot days can separate leaving the bottom half closed and the top half open.  We think they call it a barn, or stable door and it makes you feel like you’re about to cross into a bar with décor from the middle ages.  Not so much though, inside looks recently remodeled and I feel is trying to look a little more upscale than it actually is.  It has pretty low lighting with some neon strewn around.  It’s a quiet, chill atmosphere.  There is also a cool looking fireplace in the mix.  There are small tables with small chairs surrounding them and booths along the walls.

The bartenders are very nice and it usually doesn’t take too long to get a drink.  One of them owns a dog that you’ll see walking around sometimes.  They always tend to have a small list of special drinks available that are reasonably priced.  They make tasty mixed drinks and have a nice little selection of beers. 

There’s a new jukebox that usually has a good selection playing, and people are usually more open to talk to you than at Yancy’s.  I (Ben) took a date there once when I first moved up to SF from RWC.  It’s a better place to take a first date than, say, Blackthorn and definitely better than Mucky Duck.  Because of Fireside’s possible recent renovation, I hoped it gave me the appearance of putting more thought and class into my meeting place selection.  Sadly though the date wasn’t great and I showed maybe too much interest in the attractive, slightly older bartender than the younger girl who met me there, oh well.

What I love about this bar, besides the low lighting and neon, and much like Toronado (review coming soon), is they allow you to bring food in.  They have a big black binder close to bursting full of restaurant menus.  Last time these two Jews visited Fireside we first stopped off at Pasquale’s pizza across the street and brought in a couple personal pies in with us.  Very cool.

Fireside

603 Irving Street
San Francisco, CA 94122-2401
(415) 731-6433

Could I Get a Drink With That Hanging Plant?

Two Jews walk in to a bar and what do they do?

They get confused about whether they actually walked into a bar or a strange carpeted greenhouse, and don’t know if they should order a drink or buy a plant.

Seeing as we live in the Inner Sunset, Ben and I thought it would be a good idea to review the rest of the bars in the area.  I’m not sure if you can do this on a blog, but our hope is eventually to sort all of the reviews based on area or district.  Stay tooned for reviews of a few bars in the Lower Haight, Mission, and Nob/Russian Hill, but for now, on with what I will call the “I.S.”. 

We are not meaning to write these in any order, but the other bar in the area we frequent is Yancy’s.  Now just like the previous review of Blackthorn, our initial opinion of this bar was not so favorable.  The first time we went in there, the girl bartender ignored us for a while, and when she finally came down, she had a terrible attitude.  We actually ended up walking out.  Ben actually left his wallet right on the bar and had to run back a little later on to collect it.  At this point in our friendship with Yancy’s Ben was completely surprised to have the afore mentioned bitchy ‘tender return his wallet, she even seemed to recognize him!  It took us a while to warm up to the bar, but now we love going there. 

Yancy’s is different from most bars in San Francisco, but we don’t mean this in a bad way.  Even more so than Blackthorn, Yancy’s has one of the most diverse crowds in the city.  Ranging from the young Chinese local youth (20’s), college students, townies, and sometimes the older crowd.  I even saw a couple times a group of nerds, a couple lesbians (not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not something you see every night in Sunset), and every so often you’ll find a chick or two that look like they belong on a runway somewhere.  

I (meaning Ben wrote this paragraph) met up with a girl at Yancy’s one night recently.  I had met the previous weekend at the Elbo Room (another awesome place, though not in inner sunset; yes, they do have a photo booth).  It was a really good night following  a very shitty day at work.  This is often the case with the overworked and the underpaid, and to top it off this underpaid/overworked hard worker has to schlep his ass 30 miles south in the morning traffic and 30 miles back up through even worse traffic.  Damn you 280, and damn you 101!.  All a guy wants to do sometimes is come home from a stressful day and meet up with a cute girl and couple pints, this is exactly what I did.  The bartender was wicked cool, and friendly, and all credit due to him, he made very strong Jack and Coke’s, keep in mind, I’m a beer guy.  Yancy’s is usually relatively empty on a weekday night, this Wednesday night was no exception.  This is what I need out of a neighborhood bar some weeknights, I don’t want loud obnoxious people waiting for a knee to the nuts, I just want a couple TVs going, and some soft music playing in the background you can barely hear.  Good times…

When you walk into Yancy’s you are immediately hit by a bevy of green plants.  They are all over the place.  They hang in drones from the ceiling, especially near the entrance and bar area.  The place looks like the god damn Hanging Gardens of Babylon!!  The place is divided into roughly five areas.  The two larger sections of Yancy’s consist of the bar itself and the larger seating area.  The seating area has a large number of tables, chairs, and couches.  The bar is long and somewhat narrow, with stools along the bar as well as separate counter area running parallel to the bar.  Next to the bar are a couple of booths and a small smoking patio (although it is very small and most people just go outside to smoke).  Next to the larger seating area is a smaller one with three or so large tables for big groups.  The final section of Yancy’s is the darts area, which are free, just leave your ID as collateral.  The dart area is spacious, allowing for good size groups to come up and play darts without leaving the rest of their party elsewhere in the bar.  We were shown a small knife buy some punker one time, unprovoked by us, we think he was just showing off to a girl he was with, although we thought she was his sister.  Other than that the dart area is spacious enough, fun, and danger free.

I would say Yancy’s has an overall cozy feeling, even though it is quite large.  What helps with this besides the plants and couches is that the entire bar is carpeted, which I have never seen in a bar before.  All of the tables and chairs are old wood and create  a comfortable atmosphere .  If you choose to go there by yourself or with only one or two other people, sit at the bar.  The people there are more willing to talk and have friendly conversations, and many of them are locals.  At the larger seating areas, you get larger groups.  This is not a statement on Yancy’s, more on the groups that show up, but the groups tend to be more cliquey.  It’s not easy to walk up to a group of people who are already established friends and start hanging out, and that’s at Yancy’s or any bar in any city.  It is what it is. 

The bartenders and servers at Yancy’s are very nice, although they can get a bit overwhelmed on some nights.  There will be some random nights when you plan on going down there for a quiet drink with your local friends, and for some reason they have a huge crowd.  When this happens, and it’s not on a weekend, it is unexpected and they get understaffed.  But despite this, they will do their best to serve everyone, just be patient.  If you are cold and/or need a pick-me-up, they have a large selection of fun coffees that, even if they forget what goes in them, are all very tasty.  They make solid mixed drinks and have a good selection of beers.  And if  you’re a fan of both a shot and  a beer, you can always order a “Damon”, and they know that you want a shot and beer back (although our friend Damon usually gets Jaegermister and Stella).

As for specials, much like any bar, they vary throughout the year.  Usually there are cheap various beers during different sporting events.  They always have big games on a large selection of flat screen TVs, including a very large big screen that is visible from most parts of the bar.

After warming up to the place and thinking back on it over this review, we’ve decided that Yancy’s is one of our favorites in the Sunset.  It’s got everything you crave in a local bar on the weeknights and for the most part, the weekdays, except for those understaffed, overwhelming, and unexpected nights; although these can be a nice surprise too.  Yancy’s…  Good stuff.

Yancy's

734 Irving St  (get off the MUNI N Judah at 9th and Irving)
San Francisco, CA 94122-2410
(415) 665-6551

They don't have a website, but for more you can always check out yelp

High Style: Virgin America

Two Jews walk into a bar, and what do they do?

OK, well one Jew walks onto a Virgin America plane on his way to LA, and what does he do?

He gets to sit first class for the price of coach, and drink for free!!!!!!!!!

So this review is coming to you live from a Virgin America flight from San Francisco to LA.  It will probably be full of grammar errors, because I wanted to put it on this thing live.

Yes, I have my secrets, but  I was able to sit in first class for the price of coach.  This is my first time in first class, so I figured since I just started this bloggy thingy, it would be perfect for a review.  And look at that, just as I am starting to write this, the plane is starting to land. 

This was awesome.  You get on and are offered a drink right away (a double gin and tonic).  That’s two.  The flight attendant Art was great.  Offering to put stuff up above my seat and letting me know that I shouldn’t worry, drink-wise, I will be taken care of.  If you have a chance, first class or not, Art is the one of the best flight attendants ever.  And I got to see the assholes that usually fly up here, and they are f#%^&*(*(&*% demanding.

Anyway, as soon as we got up in the air, I was able to recline, and Art brought me the biggest double of scotch (Glen Livet) I have ever seen.  I mean this thing was more like 3 or 4 shots.  Along with it he brought a cheese plate.  I told him, “I have a tooth issue, so is it cool if you take the really hard crackers so I don’t try to eat them like an idiot.”  This great guy brought me double cheese.  DOUBLE CHEESE!!!!!!  I can’t speak more about how great this guy was. 

After I finished and as I was starting this review, I asked him if he minded if I used his first name in the review.  He said sure, and made sure I knew how to spell ART hahaha.  Then he brought me a champagne.  I had to tell him “Don’t worry, I am already saying good things, and to prove it, I showed him the review before I wrote this paragraph.

OK, well I have to end this because we are about to land, but I highly recommend this experience.  Not just first class though.  I will only fly Virgin, and have had this policy for a while.  If you have to fly to one of the few places they go, take my advice: fly Virgin.

Yay!!!!!! Our First Review: Blackthorn

Blackthorn:

Two Jews walk into a bar, or in this case, walk out of our apartment and down the hill and into a bar…

And what do they do?

They play free pool.

OK for our first bar review, we figured it would be a good idea to start easy and local.  This meant starting with our own neighborhood, the Inner Sunset. So for our inaugural review, we will take a look at Blackthorn.

If you were to ask us about this place 6 months ago, we would have given you a very different opinion than how we feel now.  At about that time, the bar switched owners, and it was the best move they could have made.  Before, it was cash only with a lousy jukebox.  The bar tenders, although many of them are still the same, just seemed unhappy.  There were never too many people there, and it was just not a fun place to go.

Now it’s one of the best bars in the area.  The bar tenders are great, serving you with a friendly smile, and even a joke here or there, and that’s even if it’s busy.  They do have one New Yorker bar tender, but I don’t hold it against him.  The drinks are strong and the prices are very reasonable.  They have replaced the Jukebox with one of those new online boxes that allows you access to tons of songs.  They have two pool tables, a pinball machine, a nice smoking patio, and a PHOTOBOOTH!!!!.

OK, a quick side note:  Ben and I were at a bar in the Castro on Pride night, and we saw a photo booth.  We were very drunk and took photos.  Since then, we have come to love this concept.  Whenever we are out with friends and a photo booth is present, we become determined to get pictures.  And the drunker we are the more adamant about getting tons of photos.

Anyway, back to Blackthorn.  The crowd is nice and diverse, ranging from CSSF and UCSF students, to the occasional hipster, to sports fans, and even the 30+ crowd.  You can always find a range of different people there and most of them are friendly.  A good amount of locals and if you go more than a few times don’t be surprised to see some familiar faces.

As for specials, nightly deals, and events, they vary throughout the year.  During the football season, they have a BBQ on Sundays and most of the games, and then on Mondays they have the game followed by trivia.  Karaoke on Tuesdays, which we have actually not been to yet, but Andrew loves himself some karaoke and will check it out soon.  Wednesdays and Thursdays are live music with the Smokedaddies and Hotpockets, and Fridays is 80’s and 90’s night. 

Now you might be reading this and saying to yourself: didn’t they mention free pool?  Well sirs and ma’ams, we did.  Our favorite thing about Blackthorn has to be their Sunday nights where the pool tables are open and free.  It’s a great end cap on your weekend.  You don’t really want it to be over, so you want to go out and have a drink, but you are not bar hopping, and not drunkenly hitting on the opposite sex.  So what can you do?  Well come down to Blackthorn, where it’s not too crazy, and as we mentioned, there is free pool.  The bartender (whom we forgot his name) is great.  He has a little more time to experiment and make fun new drinks, and if they don’t work, he will make a different one.  It’s the perfect ending to a great weekend that you don’t want to be over.

As mentioned above, there is a smoking patio, which is very convenient.  At most bars, you have to put your drink down and go outside to smoke.  We aren’t smokers, but when you’re out with a group, it’s nice to be able to all go outside and continue your conversations and drinks.  Blackthorn has a great little smoking patio, with nice wooden picnic benches.  This is also where they have the BBQ that they use on Sundays.  Additionally, you can often find friendly dogs out there, although, if you have a well trained dog, and come in regularly, your dog can even come into the bar.  They do have neighbors, so even if they don’t say it, you should keep it civilized.

OK, well there it is, our first review.  Below is the contact info and address of the Blackthorn.  What would be great is some feedback on this review so we know how to improve the futures ones.  If you’re in the Inner Sunset, definitely go check this place out, and maybe you‘ll see us there.

Blackthorn

834 Irving st. @ 9th Ave (N-Judah)
San Francisco, CA 94122
Tel: (415) 564-6626

http://www.blackthornsf.com/